Be careful what you ask for......

I think I have mentioned in a previous post that I pick Caroline up from school in carpool line now. There is the option of me walking in to get her, but when Caroline discovered that other kids get picked up in the carpool line, she would not let me come in and get her anymore. However, she has been reluctant to want to be dropped off in the carpool line in the morning. I have mentioned it to her on the way to school a few times, and she always says, "No, mommy, I want you to walk me in." One day a few months ago, we even made it so far as to actually drive into the carpool line and pull up to the teacher standing outside waiting, only to bail out at the last minute (and by bail out, I mean full-on screaming and crying). It wasn't something I was trying to force on her if she didn't want to, so I have continued to walk her inside. This morning, per our usual routine, I asked her if she wanted me to drop her off in carpool line, and I got the usual answer. But, then as I was pulling up to park outside of school, she said "Mommy, I want you to drop me off in the carpool line." Of course, my thoughts are that she wont go through with it, so I say "Are you sure?" and she says "Yes". So, I pull out of the parking space and start explaining what is going to happen.... is she sure she wants to let the teacher get her out of the car and walk in by herself. And she is still saying yes. So at this point, I start to panic. We pull into the line and we are two or three cars back. I'm waiting for her to bail out. She doesn't. So, I say "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, OK?" She says "OK." Still no signs of a bail out. We get to the door and the on-duty teacher opens the car door. Nothing. Teacher unbuckles her and gets her out of the car. I give her her lunch and back-pack, tell her I love her and will see her after lunch. And off she goes. My heart is pounding. I'm on the verge of tears. I pull around to the front where I can sit in the car and watch her walk through the breezeway and in the front door. She stops at the front door and stands there for 5 or 10 seconds looking in the open door and down the hall. Just as I am about to park and get out, because I am certain she is upset about having to walk in by herself, off she goes with her little backpack and lunchbox to her classroom. And she never looked back. And then I felt sad. Becasue she's not so little anymore. And she doesn't need her mommy to walk her into school. Boo Hoo! I guess I should feel proud that she has the confidence and independence to walk into school by herself at 3 1/2 , and I do deep down somewhere. But, on the surface, it just feels downright sad. I learned a lesson today.... be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.

Spring Fever!

Playing in the backyard yesterday. Shorts, T-shirts, 80 degrees and blue skies!!!! Doesn't get much better.